I know its pretty late now. But, I cant seem to go to bed or was it I chose not to go to bed. I have so much things in my mind at the moment. I had just finished my draft presentation notes for my oral this coming wednesday. However, I still have another assignment due this week which I need to get started on.

Everyone in my class had started complaining about it like the work load and how hard it is to finish it. I am dreading the time I'll be starting on this assignment. I pray that I can finish in time and also put my 100 percent effort in this assignment.

Anyway, what is troubling me is not of academic matters but of the heart. I have been troubled with this single notion of seeing someone. I feel that I shouldnt be thinking about it too much. But, when I am alone like tonight, it starts bothering me. I had told by my friends several times that everything will go fine if I behave myself. Just be myself they say!. I know its easy to say then doing it. I still feel that I shouldnt go. Its like if I went I'll be heartbroken or more be rejected.

I really wish I have a time machine and turn time forward  a week so that I can get over this decision that I had made earlier. I never realised that I would be so such a fray that I cant seem to control my insanity. Maybe a kiss would do to wake me up from my beauty sleep or maybe a potion to cure my disease. One thing or another, the close the day comes, the more high strung I become. I think I am imagining too much about what would happen on the night itself.

I guess seeing her in her utmost beauty and slenderness will definitely melt my heart. Maybe I feel this way because I want her bad but I dont know if she knows.

Oh, dear Alchemist! Where is thy cure of this calaminity I am in. Cure me! Even with your deadliest potion is still a cure for this loneliness inside. If only to see my match once more, will lead me to instant death. Death itself could be a cure but here is Nothing! Only a kiss. A betrothed kiss would be my balm. On my lips and on my bossom, I will feel your embrace. Your looks and kiss is enough to slay the most wretched dragon in all Fantasia! Just wished it may be true to me as it was in you! Farewell my beloved! Fare ye well!

Time is ticking and time to bed had arrived. Farewell thee traveller of time. May we meet one day in different circumstances from tonight.

Weeks close to my Heart

I haven't blog for a long time. My birthday is so close yet I am not looking forward to it. I had shared with my close friends why I never liked this week. I have so many things in my mind. I only like this week to be over so I can continue living my life.

I pray to God and I hope he hears me. I have so much things in my head that only He can help me through this period. I want this week to be over.

I never had such a rollercoaster week in winter, summer or autumn. Why does it have to happen when spring is here?  Will it be 500 days of spring or will it change. Again, I want this week to over.

Night time is cold, lonely and restless. I always look forward to go to sleep because I can escape from reality and release me to my own dreams. I want this week to be over.

Tommorow is always a new day but funny thing at night the same thing always happen. I want this week to be over.

I looked at myself in the window and see that I havent changed much. Though I look plumpier, there is no way I can be happy on this week. I want this to be over.

Where can I run and escape this down period of my life? Why do I want to hide away from my own feelings and the darkness and light of my heart? How do I dealt with this?

I only can say, I want this week to be over.

The only present I like to have on Xmas day

Another quiet Saturday night with myself, the wind and the buzzing noise coming from my computer. It has been a while I blogged about things that had been happening till now. Well one thing is that Christmas had arrived and gone in just a few seconds. The Christmas That I was so used to when I was child was not the same where I am now.

I am now reaching to my late 20s and I just lost for words the feeling I am feeling right now. I missed my family and mostly someone whom I so hoped to hear from.It had been 2 weeks and I never receive any news from the messges I send or any indication that you are still around. Though I may deny that I don't miss them. But, truthfully deep down, I missed you so. I wish to read about your adventures and long to read over and over again your past adventures. The past news I had read so not to be to far from your side. This is the way I had allowed myself to meet with you even though you were so far apart. I pondered each and every words just to savor and contemplate what were you thinking when you send me your news.

Where are you now? What are you doing? Do you know that someone misses you heaps on this Christmas tidings? Do you know that someone desperately want to see you? Yet, none of this was probably not told to you.

I guess you may not noticed at all. You may think that I am fine if you just left me at the door. But, I can't bear it any longer. Please let me in, I implored you. I dont want to stand outside in the cold. I want to be with you. I long again to hold you, hug you, lean on you and maybe kiss you. However, you do not notice me at all.

Maybe I was in error to put my hopes in you. Maybe I was in error to too much trust that you will be at my side forever. Maybe it was an error in judgement that I hoped you can let me know where you are.
Maybe If I were to whisper to the Four Winds that I miss you dearly that you will receive my message, you may hear me. Maybe if I tell the birds of the sky and fishes of the seas, they will passed on my message to you.

But, for now only breath of wind and the sounds of leave rustling will know of my Christmas wish.. Till I see you again I like to leave a brief message, " All I want for Christmas is You!"

Ralph theory: The Health signpost

On one early cool Saturday morning, after a restless sleep the night before, I woke up with a buzz in my head. It isnt any parasite or some unfortunate bee got stuck in my ear. It felt warm and fuzzy. The closest sensation that could describe this feeling is the day before the last paper of my finals. I was anticipating but yet nervous. My heart was pumping a million miles as I got ready for the long day ahead.

I had to stop by Bunnings before the real event start. When I arrive there, it wasnt open yet. I scratch my head and wonder why. So, I checked the opening time details on the door. Opening hours on Saturday is from 8.00 am to 9.00 pm. I was 30 minutes early. hmm.. I should have checked properly before leaving the house this morning. But, nevertheless, I waited in my car till 8am. Soon, the shop opened and I rushed to get everything ready.

I left Bunnings at around 8.30am to meet up with my good friend in the city at 9am. While I was driving to city, my mind was moving back and forth, pacing like caged jaguar. I still havent made my decisions yet. I need to see it for myself and get to know how it will respond to me. On and on this kept repeating in my head not knowingly, I was 5 minutes away from my friend's place. So, I pick up my mobile phone and dialed a number. "Hie, are you ready yet? I'm downstairs now?". "Yes, give me couple more minutes and I'll be down" the voice in the phone replied.

So, I waited. While I was waiting, I pulled down the driver seat and closed my eyes. Couple minutes later, at the corner of my eye, I saw my friend pacing down the road. We greeted each other and proceed to my destination. We stopped by a bakery shop first as we were early and the place was not open until 9 am. I had sausage roll and it was very nice. My friend had meat pie and commented it was better than the home made pie in QueenVictoria Market.

Off, we went to the place. The place was not far from my work place in North Melbourne. I parked the car and walked into the main entrance. As we approached the entrance, there were already many people gathering around with their furry friends. Some were sitting down, Some were passing through, Others were in a enclosed ring engrossed with lessons been taught by their teacher. We paused for a moment to watch the lesson being taught. We commented about how well the furry friends reacted and how cute they are.

Then, we continue to meet with IT. We passed one door and another door and saw this huge compound with several blocks. The block that we meant to go is  Block C. We saw a directional arrow to Block C and followed the direction where the arrow is pointing. I was trying not to show that I was excited for this big day but I really want to catch the glimpse of IT. Around we went to each dorms commenting, observing and touching each furry ones. When we arrived at IT's dorm, we stopped and kneeled down to say hello. Before, I even reached the dorm's gate, IT and I made the first eye contact. We had that eye contact before Saturday, but today was more special than any other day.

I stepped away for the purpose to observe how he will react with other people. A lady with her children came over and say Hello and she greeted IT. IT didnt show much enthusiasm about the lady compare when I first greeted IT. Then, its like a confirmation that IT had chosen me and I had chosen IT. But, I had still need to make the final destination. No one could help. Not even my good friend. My friend said, "Just pray about it" and I did. After praying, a felt the sense of calmness and confidence. Feeling this, I accepted my decision. I walked into the reception and I told the receptionist that I would like to take IT home and that I will not be changing IT's name but keep IT's name as Ralph.

Brief introduction of who is Ralph.
Ralph aka cross between Pug/King Charles Cavalier aka Pugalier.

He is a medium size dog with a curl tail with a bull dog look on his face but without the slobber or saliva from the mouth. He is all tan with white patches down his chest, starting from his chin to his under belly. I did not observe his eyes but from where I was, it looks shiny, alert and healthy.

His personality is one of calmness, playfulness and cheekiness. He doesn't bark much but he whines or stands on his two hind feet to get your attention. He is a very intelligent dog (amazed how much he knows and how fast he can pick up)

Soon after, application papers and forms were filled up and signed. The vet nurse then came and gave a talk on pet's care and what's not. I did not pay much attention as I was very much excited to finally decide to get a dog after a month of research and pondering.

As the title state " Change of Life and routine". Now, my life is filled with early morning and evening 30 mins walks, hugs, doggy hair on my shirt/trousers, smell of doggy poo in the morning and early rest. I would say it will take some get used to but I can see it will be benefit both me and Ralph as I am taking one more step to my dream goal to be healthy mind,body and spirit.

Hopefully, I will meet someone soon who have the same interest in life and animals as I am so we can build on the partnership that I had already began to unravel together through God's guidance and light and with God's love and his Holy Sacrament of Unity.

Two love affair in one week.

I need to get this off my chest. The past two weeks, I have been very very very naughty. Being very naughty until I need to blog about it and tell the whole world about what I did.

Here goes. I have being involve in two love affairs. Unfortunately, I had to the other one left me when they knew I was also in love with another party. Sighs this happens whenever people are two timing the other. But, for me this is different. My love affair is not of human kind or materialistic kind. My love affair is beyond human understanding. What I am refering too is the love affair/affection when someone is looking for a new pet to enter his/her new life.

So, back to my love affair. My first affair was with this bubbly, outgoing, robust, energy character. This character had a gorgeous smile and lovely personality. Friendly and always greet and smile to everyone to become friends with. So adorable was the nature of the up bringing, all who come and say hello, fell in love. I fell in love when I first laid eyes on this character. Soon after, we became friends, greeting and talking to each other like we knew each other for a long long time. However, this honeymoon time did not last long. Only this morning, the character decided to leave me for another. I felt sad in side but my heart was happy.

Then another love came into my life. This one is different. Not as robust, or full of energy like the one before. Very shy, independent, studborn. All the opposite of the other character. Friendly yes but selective. I began to fell in love with this character when I first saw a glimpse of what kind of potential and talent inside. I wish I could bring out the goodness and potential inside out but that will take more patience, time and money. Money I have, only time and patience is limited.

Nevertheless, I was very naughtly to have two love affairs. But, I was happy with my two love affairs. I met a character whom I really will fall in love and one I find slowly attracted to realise I have work hard to get to their heart. I will continue to search till I find one that matches my heart puzzle. The missing puzzle that still remain hidden from my side. One that will complete me and make whole.

Signing off,
Long house boy

Seek and ye shall find

As time stood still,

on this rainy and windy night
Drops of rain pitter patter against
the cold wet stone

A naked lonely soul outside
unclothed, wet and hungry
His heart full of sadness and grief
He walked with each step brings
memories of family and departed loved ones

A window appear in his sight
He peered in the window
remembering the memories he had
once of his dearest
his parents
brothers
sister

But, no face was seen
No laughter nor singing could be heard
only the sound of rain echoing
in the empty street

As he searched and wandered
A lit candle flickered did he see
He began to knock on the door
Once, Twice, Thrice

No one answered
His hunger grew more
His heart grew heavy
His hope began falter
With a great sigh, He walked into the rain

There in the street, he stood,
soaked in the soft gentle falling of the rain,
He close his eyes and stretch his arms,
embracing the sky like someone he knew,
He smiled,
He was just happy to be alive.

Rain drops became to fall heavily
Eyes open
Tears of sadness wiped away
Replaced with tears of joy

Once was lost,
He had found
In his stillness
His dearest love is gone from his sight
But, dwell in a better place.

With this thought in his mind,
A door opened
A friendly familiar face appear
Come in Dad, it's raining
A young girl with a umbrella

Hunter and prey

As the moon arise in the east

A lone creature howled
All creatures; large and small prick their ears
Their hearts began to thump like tiny drum beats
Dull senses before now heighten
Dull muscles began to spring into action.
Their serenity and calmness was disturbed
Away, you hunter! Leave us in peace!

The ancient hunter stretched his limbs
Sensing his sore muscles, he flexed and stretched
With elegant and grace he settled down into a slow pace
Out of his winter rest, He sniffed the crisp winter air
Familiar scent trail lingers in the air.
He traced each trail with a quick sniff
Rabbits, geckos, wood pigeons, ducks
From his resting place, he jumped
Into the world he call his domain

He sprinted forward lapping up the snow
With the wind in his face
He stopped and sniffed
What is this new scent I sensed?
An intruder? A prey? A new challenge?
His jaws snapping into the air
His heart thumping for joy
No matter, for destiny awaits him

In the thickness of the brush
He sniffed the air for direction
North, East, South, West
The ground was cold and wet.
With his paw, he scratched
He had caught up.
The hunter howled to announce his return
Off to the East, his muscles, ears and eyes obeyed

Creatures, large and small in bush sensed
With unison they murmured,whispered and clattered
Across the land a warning tempo could be heard
Be aware everyone! For today maybe your last!
For the hunter is close!

Hearing this, the hunter quickened
With his powerful limbs, he traveled swiftly
Through the log, over the streams
Turning and bending as he make his way

The wind died down
The cricket stops
The grass went still
Moments passed
The hunter paused and settled down

Snow began to drift down.
He, the hunter knew his time is now
He adjusted his weight and wait
His eyes pierced through the white mist
With his paw testing the ground
His vision sharpened

Sound of hooves approached
Rustles of leaves and a puff of cloud was seen
The Hunter noted this with great anticipation
A pair of large pointed antler appeared
Followed with a white snow velvet fur
Sparks flew as the white shadow moved with grace

Here stood, the great white snow stag of legends
His powerful muscles tremble
Signs of ancient battle wounds glistened with sweat.

The stag stood tall and proud
He sense the hunter is near
He pawed the ground with his hooves
Puff of snow jumped into the air
His battle days are not over yet
He knew his time will come

With determined eyes,
They challenged each other with a glance.
Stories of prophecy had foretold of this battle to come
"One will perish and one will Live"
"Life now is in balance"
For the victor, For the stage had been set
for