Lion dance. What is it about Lion Dance that really attracts me when I was young ambitious boy.
I remember when I was 10 years old, I always look forward for Chinese New year to come. Besides, the red pockets or "Ampau" that we receive from our aunties and relatives, another thing that always brings me back fond memories was the LION or "tak tung cheng" we, kids called it. Whenever, we visited our chinese relatives day or two before Chinese New Year, we always try to find if they have a small Lion head around. If they have one, we always play pretend that we are performing the actual thing. We normally performed out of adult eyes in case they criticise or laugh at us.
I remember I was the drummer and my cousins was the lion performers. We acted like the adults do, banging the drums and mimicking the moves i.e. moving the lion head side to side or pretending we are running away from the firecrackers or eating mandarin oranges just like that actual performers do on the actual day. We always takes turn with the drums and lion head. We could do this like from 9am to 5 pm non stop just enjoying and laughing and having a great time.
As Chinese New celebration, rolled by, I always find myself having good hearing even amongst all the firecrackers to notice even the faint drumming sound of the Lion dance. As soon, as I hear one, I normally cycle to my friend's house and soon after we will be cycled to the beat of the drums. Reaching at our destination, we used our bicycles seat as our sitting stool as we sat and watched the performance. Not long after, the performance ended and we felt sad. We wanted more. Sometimes, if we are lucky we are given red ampau just being there watching the performance. We repeat this scene over and over again in just one day. As soon, one of us spot a convoy of lion dance performers, we normally tail the convoy as fast as our little legs can carry us to the performer's location. Although it was tiring but at the end of the day, we were so delighted and chirpy talking about how many unblown firecrackers did we collect or how much money did we get from visiting each houses. Mind you, this was just only on the first day of Chinese new year and normally the celebrations lasted for three days.
So now after 14 years later from that day, I am now the performer and learning the intricates of the lion dance. As, I was walking along our stall on Fiesta Malaysia, 27 September 2009, I noticed a young boy, no more than 7 years old gazing and pointing the lion dance photos and looking at his parents lovingly but with excitement in his eyes. Fond memories of my childhood flooded back as I squat with him and explain each photos to him tenderly my love of the dance that brought me closer to my Chinese Culture that had lay been sleeping for 14 years.
I hope in time to come, I will endeavour to work hard on my performance so that one day I will inspire future generations to pick up this long living traditions of the LION DANCE.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Monday Ramblings after a busy weekend
Once more, I have thrown into the deep end of the pool. I knew that it would be happen and I was preparing myself once more to dive in, but I didnt quite enjoy to dive in three times now.
What I am refering to is my current job situation. Two weeks ago, I was asked by my boss to perform loading/sampling supervision for containers in Dubbo, NSW. This job was for 42 containers which were broken down into 4 partial shipments. My inspector did the first inspection which was fine with me. Then, because we are trying to lower our cost of expenses, I was asked to do this inspection. I don't mind at first because it was just one more time and I expected that my boss/colleague will help me by doing the next couple inspection.
I didnt know or wasn't told that I was needed for the last three shipments. I am pissed off because I don't want to do it. I done it once, twice but I never got anything out of it. I don't see where I will benefit for me doing this container inspection. I am not being paid allowance per day to go out there to do this inspection. I was doing for my own free will. I had other stuff planned already and I had to postpone for work. I am frustrated/ticked off/tired of organising and spending my money on work and not saving or at least pamper myself with some TLC with my own earnings.
So, now, I will be leaving from Melbourne to Dubbo once more. I do hope everything goes to plan and that I don't intend to mess things up or no delay in flights heading down to Sydney or departing from Sydney airport. I want everything to go to plan and reach home at least in the evening time so I can take a breather.
I am planning to take a day off on Friday. I deserve a break. I have been away for business trip for 6 consecutive alternate days. A day off on Friday will be a stress relief for me so I can really recharge my battery and spend time resting.
On another note, yesterday's weather in Melbourne was dreadful. Rain/cold/strong wind/Rain/Sun/near freezing temperature in a day. I commented that I never felt so tired before by just standing in the cold elements of Melbourne weather looking at the performance that took place at Queensbridge Square. I think I lost some of my fat cells that time too as my body was trying it best to burn off the extra fat to keep my body warm. After, the performance, we had a nice easy stroll down the Art and fair market. It was nice and enjoyable as I was inspired by the architecture and the atmosphere of the market. I will one day spend the whole morning taking photographs of the market's atmosphere with my trusted D90.
What I am refering to is my current job situation. Two weeks ago, I was asked by my boss to perform loading/sampling supervision for containers in Dubbo, NSW. This job was for 42 containers which were broken down into 4 partial shipments. My inspector did the first inspection which was fine with me. Then, because we are trying to lower our cost of expenses, I was asked to do this inspection. I don't mind at first because it was just one more time and I expected that my boss/colleague will help me by doing the next couple inspection.
I didnt know or wasn't told that I was needed for the last three shipments. I am pissed off because I don't want to do it. I done it once, twice but I never got anything out of it. I don't see where I will benefit for me doing this container inspection. I am not being paid allowance per day to go out there to do this inspection. I was doing for my own free will. I had other stuff planned already and I had to postpone for work. I am frustrated/ticked off/tired of organising and spending my money on work and not saving or at least pamper myself with some TLC with my own earnings.
So, now, I will be leaving from Melbourne to Dubbo once more. I do hope everything goes to plan and that I don't intend to mess things up or no delay in flights heading down to Sydney or departing from Sydney airport. I want everything to go to plan and reach home at least in the evening time so I can take a breather.
I am planning to take a day off on Friday. I deserve a break. I have been away for business trip for 6 consecutive alternate days. A day off on Friday will be a stress relief for me so I can really recharge my battery and spend time resting.
On another note, yesterday's weather in Melbourne was dreadful. Rain/cold/strong wind/Rain/Sun/near freezing temperature in a day. I commented that I never felt so tired before by just standing in the cold elements of Melbourne weather looking at the performance that took place at Queensbridge Square. I think I lost some of my fat cells that time too as my body was trying it best to burn off the extra fat to keep my body warm. After, the performance, we had a nice easy stroll down the Art and fair market. It was nice and enjoyable as I was inspired by the architecture and the atmosphere of the market. I will one day spend the whole morning taking photographs of the market's atmosphere with my trusted D90.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
My conclusion on 500 days of Summer
So, now when my friends commented that there are still plenty of fishes in the see, I will respond, yes there is, but there is also guppies out there. I have to chose the right one.
From the movie, it depicted that Love at first or Fate played a part doesn’t exist anymore in this modern world. This was depicted when Summer shared with Tom when she was sitting with him on the bench, where a guy came up to her and asked her what book is she reading and then they got married. This and others section of the movie struck a chord in me when alas the story teller commented that Love is all just coincidence.
Also, What is love? Love cannot be expressed in greetings card i.e. valentine’s card. Misery/pain/suffering cannot be expressed in greetings card i.e. sympathy card. It is the unspoken verbal and body language that Love and other human expressions are revealed to one another. May as well, just send a blank greeting card and let the customer write their own greeting cards.
So, in conclusion, I truly agree on the view that Love and human expression can only be fully expressed from personal touch and creativity. I believed that it is the actions and moments that we shared that count towards the bond that we had with our loved ones and friends. This was perfect potrayed by Tom’s youngest sister who had told him to play all the good moments over and over again after Tom shared with her that Summer had been engaged to another man.
So, for me, even it hurts to go back to the good moments that my Summer and I had, I really am blessed to have met someone her and hope I can learn from my experiences so when I meet with someone coincidentally, I be more patience and ready for the next step ahead.
From the movie, it depicted that Love at first or Fate played a part doesn’t exist anymore in this modern world. This was depicted when Summer shared with Tom when she was sitting with him on the bench, where a guy came up to her and asked her what book is she reading and then they got married. This and others section of the movie struck a chord in me when alas the story teller commented that Love is all just coincidence.
Also, What is love? Love cannot be expressed in greetings card i.e. valentine’s card. Misery/pain/suffering cannot be expressed in greetings card i.e. sympathy card. It is the unspoken verbal and body language that Love and other human expressions are revealed to one another. May as well, just send a blank greeting card and let the customer write their own greeting cards.
So, in conclusion, I truly agree on the view that Love and human expression can only be fully expressed from personal touch and creativity. I believed that it is the actions and moments that we shared that count towards the bond that we had with our loved ones and friends. This was perfect potrayed by Tom’s youngest sister who had told him to play all the good moments over and over again after Tom shared with her that Summer had been engaged to another man.
So, for me, even it hurts to go back to the good moments that my Summer and I had, I really am blessed to have met someone her and hope I can learn from my experiences so when I meet with someone coincidentally, I be more patience and ready for the next step ahead.
My 500 days of summer blurb
Ah! after watching this not your ordinary love story where boy meets girl, I found myself wandering about my own not your ordinary love story. I was fascinated how the director had placed an equivalent amount of days and specified the season of how the movie should be set.
500 days and season of summer, after a rejuvenating sleep, I woke up still wondering why 500 days.
A friend asked me last me last night, when will the love story start? On the 300th day?
I ponder her question for a minute as I review in my mind what I have seen in previous motion slide and came up with an answer. I responded saying that yes on the 300th day. I didn’t know why I knew that answer straight away. I think because from my past experiences, Friendship comes first then Love then marriage. So, with my gathered assumption, Love always come somewhere in the middle. So, in the context of the movie, Love came in around 250th to 300th day. So, I respond with the answer to her.
Yes, that is where the love story begin.
So, we continue watching the movie. Slowly, I was watching my own personal love story in my mind as I watching this movie. I saw myself as the main character, Tom and my other friend, Summer. At first, like the main character, I vowed not to love any girl because of my past hurtful experience. I had also trustful friends who knew my past and had always discussed about having a relationships. But, I never believed in all we said as it was just random stories that we shared.
Then, on one sunny summer day (Day no. 1, a girl came into my life. I never notice her at first but she caught my attention. She was like someone who bring life to the room. Whenever she walked, people will notice her. She was different from anyone I had met. I couldn’t stop looking at her. I liked her smile, her brown eyes and the way she talks and giggle at the same time. (Day no. 30 – 35)
I was brought up by my parents to believe in love at first sight and it is fate that boy and girl are meant for each other. When I saw my Summer, I felt I had met my true love before I even met with her. When she was alone, I noticed her that she didn’t know anyone in the room and talked to her. I began to call her at night just to hear her voice and wanting to know how her day was. We laughed and we argued about silly things. When she fell ill, I took time to nurture her. I was happy and I couldn’t stop talking about her. I shared my feelings with my trusted friends telling her what Summer and I had chatted the night before or couple seconds ago. Day goes by, I spend time getting to know her. I became attracted to her and I begun to ask her if she would like to go out for lunch with my trusted friends. (DAY 100 – 150)
Day 246, I realise I am falling in love with her. She didn’t know that. I didn’t want to tell her that I was in love with her because I don’t want to spoil my friendship with her. I consulted my brother and he told me it’s all up to girl, if they like you the same way it’s good, they have to accept your love before you can go forward. With this in mind, I set out to ask her if she had the same feelings for me.
Day 295 – 300, I confimed that I was in love with her. She was in my thoughts and I can’t get take my mind off her.
Day 447, plan was set. I did not consult my trusted friends. I wanted to do it with my own sincere way.
Day 449, I initiate my plan
Day 451, I asked my friend out. My plan was to declare my love for her after the date.
Day 451 ½, I was dumbfounded. She wanted to us to be friends. So, I agreed.
Day 458, We went out and had a nice time chatting over a cuppa of chocolate.
Day 463, She felt distant to me. I tried doing what I did on Day 30 – 35) but nothing seemed to be working to bring that feeling back again. I felt that it could be my fault that she is felt so far apart. So, I began to distance myself to let her recover. But, I changed my mind and quickly get her attention back.
Day 469, She is not talking to me now. I don’t see her anymore. Whenever I see her, it was just like we are friends. The feeling I felt before was not there anymore.
Day 480, I decided to try one more time to show my love for her. I consulted her friend and they began to reveal the truth why she had reacted the way she did. Like the part when movie went to Split section, Expectations and Reality. I had my expectations to high and now Reality had crashed on me.
Day 488, I went for my friend’s function but I stormed out with frustration and anguish because of the truth.
Day 489, I didn’t have any mood to wake up
Day 490, I didn’t want to wake up but slept
Day 491, I decided to move on and pursue what I really missed when I was not with her. I began training
Day 499, I saw her again but this time I pushed all notions of feelings. She gave me the same look when we first met. But, I did not take any notice of it
Day 500, I am back to my normal life. Chasing after my dreams and working towards my goals
Day 501, I had dinner with my friends and I saw someone in my group that caught my eye. We just chat for a couple of minute or so and I realise that we have so much in common. Type of studies, hobbies and past time.
Her name was not Autumn as the movie had portrayed when Tom met with Autumn but to me nevertheless, this person was my Autumn.
500 days and season of summer, after a rejuvenating sleep, I woke up still wondering why 500 days.
A friend asked me last me last night, when will the love story start? On the 300th day?
I ponder her question for a minute as I review in my mind what I have seen in previous motion slide and came up with an answer. I responded saying that yes on the 300th day. I didn’t know why I knew that answer straight away. I think because from my past experiences, Friendship comes first then Love then marriage. So, with my gathered assumption, Love always come somewhere in the middle. So, in the context of the movie, Love came in around 250th to 300th day. So, I respond with the answer to her.
Yes, that is where the love story begin.
So, we continue watching the movie. Slowly, I was watching my own personal love story in my mind as I watching this movie. I saw myself as the main character, Tom and my other friend, Summer. At first, like the main character, I vowed not to love any girl because of my past hurtful experience. I had also trustful friends who knew my past and had always discussed about having a relationships. But, I never believed in all we said as it was just random stories that we shared.
Then, on one sunny summer day (Day no. 1, a girl came into my life. I never notice her at first but she caught my attention. She was like someone who bring life to the room. Whenever she walked, people will notice her. She was different from anyone I had met. I couldn’t stop looking at her. I liked her smile, her brown eyes and the way she talks and giggle at the same time. (Day no. 30 – 35)
I was brought up by my parents to believe in love at first sight and it is fate that boy and girl are meant for each other. When I saw my Summer, I felt I had met my true love before I even met with her. When she was alone, I noticed her that she didn’t know anyone in the room and talked to her. I began to call her at night just to hear her voice and wanting to know how her day was. We laughed and we argued about silly things. When she fell ill, I took time to nurture her. I was happy and I couldn’t stop talking about her. I shared my feelings with my trusted friends telling her what Summer and I had chatted the night before or couple seconds ago. Day goes by, I spend time getting to know her. I became attracted to her and I begun to ask her if she would like to go out for lunch with my trusted friends. (DAY 100 – 150)
Day 246, I realise I am falling in love with her. She didn’t know that. I didn’t want to tell her that I was in love with her because I don’t want to spoil my friendship with her. I consulted my brother and he told me it’s all up to girl, if they like you the same way it’s good, they have to accept your love before you can go forward. With this in mind, I set out to ask her if she had the same feelings for me.
Day 295 – 300, I confimed that I was in love with her. She was in my thoughts and I can’t get take my mind off her.
Day 447, plan was set. I did not consult my trusted friends. I wanted to do it with my own sincere way.
Day 449, I initiate my plan
Day 451, I asked my friend out. My plan was to declare my love for her after the date.
Day 451 ½, I was dumbfounded. She wanted to us to be friends. So, I agreed.
Day 458, We went out and had a nice time chatting over a cuppa of chocolate.
Day 463, She felt distant to me. I tried doing what I did on Day 30 – 35) but nothing seemed to be working to bring that feeling back again. I felt that it could be my fault that she is felt so far apart. So, I began to distance myself to let her recover. But, I changed my mind and quickly get her attention back.
Day 469, She is not talking to me now. I don’t see her anymore. Whenever I see her, it was just like we are friends. The feeling I felt before was not there anymore.
Day 480, I decided to try one more time to show my love for her. I consulted her friend and they began to reveal the truth why she had reacted the way she did. Like the part when movie went to Split section, Expectations and Reality. I had my expectations to high and now Reality had crashed on me.
Day 488, I went for my friend’s function but I stormed out with frustration and anguish because of the truth.
Day 489, I didn’t have any mood to wake up
Day 490, I didn’t want to wake up but slept
Day 491, I decided to move on and pursue what I really missed when I was not with her. I began training
Day 499, I saw her again but this time I pushed all notions of feelings. She gave me the same look when we first met. But, I did not take any notice of it
Day 500, I am back to my normal life. Chasing after my dreams and working towards my goals
Day 501, I had dinner with my friends and I saw someone in my group that caught my eye. We just chat for a couple of minute or so and I realise that we have so much in common. Type of studies, hobbies and past time.
Her name was not Autumn as the movie had portrayed when Tom met with Autumn but to me nevertheless, this person was my Autumn.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Transformation - Part 2
Senses of feel, smell, taste and vision began to heighten as my transformation is near at end. My back muscles began to murmur and vibrate with great anticipation. I will no longer stood up as one of the proud inhabitants of this world but the stand up as the Blood Curdling Beast of the Necromancer. The colour of my skin began to shimmer in the moonlight. Shades of brown, blue, red and black orbs of light swirled around like a glove around my body and as the orbs settles like a puff of smoke, where there was normal human skin remains became a shimmering dark purple metallic leathery skin. I looked and I was pleased.
Suddenly, my naked muscular body was met with continuous sharp throbbing pain which began from my skull into my abdomen cavity and to my toes as I fell on the pavement writhing violently. My mind was now overtaken by Call of the blood. The lust of Blood and flesh beckons!!
Fury and Fear was now my strength as the animal instinct begins to swirled inside of me. I openly embrace this part of me that had been neglected and channelled the image of my long lost mate to to bring my creation to complete end. There, I continued to struggle on the cold wet pavement writhing, turning, crashing violently impervious to what is happening around me.
I slashed out, I crawled, I screamed. I ripped off every inch of my weak self from my dark empowered soul. With dreadful howl, I yelled with the top of my lungs. Where there were teeth was now vicious fangs with a powerful mutt jaw, I snapped aimlessly in the air and suddenly came a scream. A pool of liquid splashed on my face and on my skin. I licked the liquid off my face with my tongue and knew immediately it was glorious. Every muscle and nerves in my body was re-ignited with passion as I gorged on the unexpected trespasser.
The orgy of fresh meat send shivers down my spine as I continued to set my bloody rampage on the inhabitants of the World above. Hunt on, my Brothers!!!!!
Suddenly, my naked muscular body was met with continuous sharp throbbing pain which began from my skull into my abdomen cavity and to my toes as I fell on the pavement writhing violently. My mind was now overtaken by Call of the blood. The lust of Blood and flesh beckons!!
Fury and Fear was now my strength as the animal instinct begins to swirled inside of me. I openly embrace this part of me that had been neglected and channelled the image of my long lost mate to to bring my creation to complete end. There, I continued to struggle on the cold wet pavement writhing, turning, crashing violently impervious to what is happening around me.
I slashed out, I crawled, I screamed. I ripped off every inch of my weak self from my dark empowered soul. With dreadful howl, I yelled with the top of my lungs. Where there were teeth was now vicious fangs with a powerful mutt jaw, I snapped aimlessly in the air and suddenly came a scream. A pool of liquid splashed on my face and on my skin. I licked the liquid off my face with my tongue and knew immediately it was glorious. Every muscle and nerves in my body was re-ignited with passion as I gorged on the unexpected trespasser.
The orgy of fresh meat send shivers down my spine as I continued to set my bloody rampage on the inhabitants of the World above. Hunt on, my Brothers!!!!!
Transformation - part 1
As, I walked along the mortals of the Land of the Living, hidden for nearly five cycles of Equinox, I found myself in state of unpredictability and anguish. I have lost my mate and had defended my pride from new adversaries that walked and crawled into my noble life. These adversaries had long hunted my kind to extinction. We were happy, loved, appreciated and accepted once. Now, we are being hunted. We were once proud nations of nobles who fight side by side with Land of the Living.
Since then, we had been removed of our titles of nobility and were abandoned into the wild. There we left to our own doings and we started a new life. A humble nomadic life.
But, ever since the new ruler of the world above came to rule, our peaceful nomadic life had changed. Our fields and crops were burnt. Some of us died of hunger and others had embraced death by the sword. Our mates were taken as hostage and were ridiculed and tortured to death with our very own eyes. I gazed with tears just to hide my fury and anger as I also stood under my disguise as my mate were tortured the same. I swore on mate’s love that I will not embrace my inheritance. But, she is now gone and my will to live by the rules of world had ended at her death bed. I now have a new mate and her name is Revenge.
I left the world I was in two weeks ago into a different world now. My weak mind was bombarded with the feeling of neglect, anger, jealousness, numbness and more unanswered questions of the Heart. I begin a cycle of down whirlwind that drove me to insanity. I disowned the world that breathe me to life and the inhabitants that live in it. I gather all the spells and charms for my next journey ahead.
I am now one more step of detaching myself from the previous life and soon will begin my journey to embrace the dark and shadowy part of my inheritance. I knew this is the way I can only embrace the black heart of my soul. I had to take the risks for my clan and survival. I had to lift the veils of my eyes to see what type of life I am living in. I will remove all falsehood and become what I am to be.
The beast of the night! That lurks in every cracks and shades of dark and light. Savoring the cries of anguish/hatred and pain and feeding on innocent bystanders who step into my shadow. The darkness swallowed whole the last flicker of hope that I had. My eyes and body had begun its transformation.
Since then, we had been removed of our titles of nobility and were abandoned into the wild. There we left to our own doings and we started a new life. A humble nomadic life.
But, ever since the new ruler of the world above came to rule, our peaceful nomadic life had changed. Our fields and crops were burnt. Some of us died of hunger and others had embraced death by the sword. Our mates were taken as hostage and were ridiculed and tortured to death with our very own eyes. I gazed with tears just to hide my fury and anger as I also stood under my disguise as my mate were tortured the same. I swore on mate’s love that I will not embrace my inheritance. But, she is now gone and my will to live by the rules of world had ended at her death bed. I now have a new mate and her name is Revenge.
I left the world I was in two weeks ago into a different world now. My weak mind was bombarded with the feeling of neglect, anger, jealousness, numbness and more unanswered questions of the Heart. I begin a cycle of down whirlwind that drove me to insanity. I disowned the world that breathe me to life and the inhabitants that live in it. I gather all the spells and charms for my next journey ahead.
I am now one more step of detaching myself from the previous life and soon will begin my journey to embrace the dark and shadowy part of my inheritance. I knew this is the way I can only embrace the black heart of my soul. I had to take the risks for my clan and survival. I had to lift the veils of my eyes to see what type of life I am living in. I will remove all falsehood and become what I am to be.
The beast of the night! That lurks in every cracks and shades of dark and light. Savoring the cries of anguish/hatred and pain and feeding on innocent bystanders who step into my shadow. The darkness swallowed whole the last flicker of hope that I had. My eyes and body had begun its transformation.
Friday, August 28, 2009
A small part of myself
I sometimes gets frustrated when people think I am just a fly on the wall. or say that I am too old to do this or too serious to have a conversation or too boring or I don't look like their ideal friend/boy friend or I am not their type.
As God had made us all unique in his eyes, so I am unique in diferent ways. When I was young, I never knew how to speak until I was 7 years old. I mumbled and stumbled and stuttered my words. My friends pick on me because of my sttutters. I do not pick up things fast like my other siblings. I am a slow learner and it took mum many trials and patience and time to see me where I am today.
I used to be a hard, studborn, short tempered child. I relish on the fights I had when I was kinder and primary where only thing that people can stop teasing me was to beat them up to pulp. (matter of speaking). Yes, I was called to the principal's office daily. But, this just one of many mask I carry to hide my innocence and naive nature in me.
As I grew up, I became accustomed to being a rebel. I went out with my friends to go fishing or hunting when I am supposed to be at home doing my work or studying. or playing soccer at our friends place after class and only come back when I can't run anymore. I began to make a name of myself around the neighbourhood as the Leader of the pack because whenever we go out, 4 or 5 of us will be on the bicycle chasing after each other or doing imaginary dungeon walks under the moonsoon drain, or looking for frogs/tadpoles in the drain. We didnt care much about the cuts/bruises/laceration that we had from doing all this stuff. It was the thrill to be out in fresh air and spending time with friends. We normally had our Saturday afternoon siesta down the river and put our handmade fishing rod to use.
We never ever caught any fish while we were fishing but we talked and imagined we caught a huge fish and we have to grab our rod and pull to bring the fish in. We had our normal icy poles which was 25 cents per icy poles and never grew hungry as we grab as much food that we could get from home or around for our little fishing trip.
Then mum and dad bought two puppies. My fascination/love and interest for animals grew exponentially. The puppies grew big and strong. At night, when I am lonely and no one is paying much attention to me because I was the youngest, I spend most of the time with the puppies. I talked to them, cuddle them and cry with them. They mean a lot to me especially when I was going through a tough stage at that time. They grew and I grew and we became a real pack. They looked to me as the leader and a friend. I looked to them as my friends and companions. They were the only friends that I became close to. I had no human friends back then.
This interests kept me alive and well and I brought this interest to everywhere I went. I learned to dissect guppies when I was 10 years old and took care tadpoles/frogs as my hobby. I learned to observe how a cat move, a dog run, a bird sing, insects hum and frogs croak. Each behaviour was significant to me because I didnt had a teacher to teach me about science. At night, I spend most of my time listening to night sounds, trying to understand what is the cricket is saying or why is dog barking or howling. My oral communications improved as well from my conversation with my animal friends. I said Good morning everyday and a good night to all my friends.
I became more patience and understanding person. I wasnt the rebel, studborn or short tempered child anymore. I learnt to be responsible and obedience in the earlier age. When I stepped into the teenager's stage, my mind was mature for my age. The way I talk and the way I present myself changed. I think before I speak and reflect on what other people is saying. I listened to people attentively and absorb what they are trying to tell me.
I am the person who you see me today. During my taekwondo years, the skills that I learn when I was child was re-estadblished once more in my core nature. I learn to be gentle and respected my peers, boy or girl. I learn to be restrain my physical actions and learned to be diplomatic.
I see the world in a bird eye's view. Seeing the whole picture and planning each step by step as the bird is building a nest.
I have my bad days and my naughty days. Days when I am angry and start beating and trampling/blaming myself because of my silly mistakes or my incompetence to show my feelings/emotions to everyone around. Days when I played prank on others; mean pranks. Days when I just stop talking to anyone for a month and not tell them why. I can be calm and gentle outside but inside of me a hot furnace is burning and oil is nearly over flowing.
So, please be gentle with this giant. Though he seemed serious or lack of emotion, inside he is just a small furry puppy who wants to know and get to know you. Treat him like how you want to be treated yourselves.
If I do pester you with sms or call you at night for several times, its how I say I really care for you and my friends/family count more than anything else in the world. If I took care of you when you're not feeling well, please don't think that I am taking advantage of you. I am your friend. If we do get into argument or disagreement, please be honest with me. I can't read your mind. One thing I don't like is not telling openly what you feel. Best to be open so I can be open with you.
But, a quick warning, if you snicker behind my back, make fun of my appearance, or hurt my closed loved ones. I can be a raging bull. I dont see the red light. My first and fore most is to protect. To protect my friends and loved ones and willingly put my life in front to make my friends safe. I will fight for my loved one's interest and honor. Nothing can stop me to protect what I hold dearly most is the dignity and honor of my loved one and friends.
As God had made us all unique in his eyes, so I am unique in diferent ways. When I was young, I never knew how to speak until I was 7 years old. I mumbled and stumbled and stuttered my words. My friends pick on me because of my sttutters. I do not pick up things fast like my other siblings. I am a slow learner and it took mum many trials and patience and time to see me where I am today.
I used to be a hard, studborn, short tempered child. I relish on the fights I had when I was kinder and primary where only thing that people can stop teasing me was to beat them up to pulp. (matter of speaking). Yes, I was called to the principal's office daily. But, this just one of many mask I carry to hide my innocence and naive nature in me.
As I grew up, I became accustomed to being a rebel. I went out with my friends to go fishing or hunting when I am supposed to be at home doing my work or studying. or playing soccer at our friends place after class and only come back when I can't run anymore. I began to make a name of myself around the neighbourhood as the Leader of the pack because whenever we go out, 4 or 5 of us will be on the bicycle chasing after each other or doing imaginary dungeon walks under the moonsoon drain, or looking for frogs/tadpoles in the drain. We didnt care much about the cuts/bruises/laceration that we had from doing all this stuff. It was the thrill to be out in fresh air and spending time with friends. We normally had our Saturday afternoon siesta down the river and put our handmade fishing rod to use.
We never ever caught any fish while we were fishing but we talked and imagined we caught a huge fish and we have to grab our rod and pull to bring the fish in. We had our normal icy poles which was 25 cents per icy poles and never grew hungry as we grab as much food that we could get from home or around for our little fishing trip.
Then mum and dad bought two puppies. My fascination/love and interest for animals grew exponentially. The puppies grew big and strong. At night, when I am lonely and no one is paying much attention to me because I was the youngest, I spend most of the time with the puppies. I talked to them, cuddle them and cry with them. They mean a lot to me especially when I was going through a tough stage at that time. They grew and I grew and we became a real pack. They looked to me as the leader and a friend. I looked to them as my friends and companions. They were the only friends that I became close to. I had no human friends back then.
This interests kept me alive and well and I brought this interest to everywhere I went. I learned to dissect guppies when I was 10 years old and took care tadpoles/frogs as my hobby. I learned to observe how a cat move, a dog run, a bird sing, insects hum and frogs croak. Each behaviour was significant to me because I didnt had a teacher to teach me about science. At night, I spend most of my time listening to night sounds, trying to understand what is the cricket is saying or why is dog barking or howling. My oral communications improved as well from my conversation with my animal friends. I said Good morning everyday and a good night to all my friends.
I became more patience and understanding person. I wasnt the rebel, studborn or short tempered child anymore. I learnt to be responsible and obedience in the earlier age. When I stepped into the teenager's stage, my mind was mature for my age. The way I talk and the way I present myself changed. I think before I speak and reflect on what other people is saying. I listened to people attentively and absorb what they are trying to tell me.
I am the person who you see me today. During my taekwondo years, the skills that I learn when I was child was re-estadblished once more in my core nature. I learn to be gentle and respected my peers, boy or girl. I learn to be restrain my physical actions and learned to be diplomatic.
I see the world in a bird eye's view. Seeing the whole picture and planning each step by step as the bird is building a nest.
I have my bad days and my naughty days. Days when I am angry and start beating and trampling/blaming myself because of my silly mistakes or my incompetence to show my feelings/emotions to everyone around. Days when I played prank on others; mean pranks. Days when I just stop talking to anyone for a month and not tell them why. I can be calm and gentle outside but inside of me a hot furnace is burning and oil is nearly over flowing.
So, please be gentle with this giant. Though he seemed serious or lack of emotion, inside he is just a small furry puppy who wants to know and get to know you. Treat him like how you want to be treated yourselves.
If I do pester you with sms or call you at night for several times, its how I say I really care for you and my friends/family count more than anything else in the world. If I took care of you when you're not feeling well, please don't think that I am taking advantage of you. I am your friend. If we do get into argument or disagreement, please be honest with me. I can't read your mind. One thing I don't like is not telling openly what you feel. Best to be open so I can be open with you.
But, a quick warning, if you snicker behind my back, make fun of my appearance, or hurt my closed loved ones. I can be a raging bull. I dont see the red light. My first and fore most is to protect. To protect my friends and loved ones and willingly put my life in front to make my friends safe. I will fight for my loved one's interest and honor. Nothing can stop me to protect what I hold dearly most is the dignity and honor of my loved one and friends.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)